I’ve basically hit rock bottom at this point, and I know that I need help, but I can’t bring myself to actually seek help…if that makes sense. I want to go for counseling, but I just can’t. What do I do?

Hello,

Sometimes when we feel overwhelmed or highly distressed, we can feel immobilized. So I wondered if that makes sense of your experience. Here are some ideas to mobilize yourself to seek help. Since I don’t want to assume what is going on for you, I’ve offered a variety based on the potential barriers to seeking help.

-get a friend to walk with you to Counselling Services. Friends are typically glad to see a friend get help, and it’s so much easier to walk in with someone. Perhaps they can even sit with you before your appointment.

-talk to family members who can support you in taking the next steps. Remember that getting help shows resourcefulness and is a measure of good health. Perhaps certain family members could share a sense of pride about you taking a positive step to improve your situation.

-go to the Office of Student Success (on Main Street across from the library). There are student helpers there and a coordinator, Sarah, who are there to be a friendly face to support students in finding the help they need. One of them will be happy to walk with you to Counselling Services.

-You say you know what you need to do.  There can be a problem when we wait until our emotions are aligned with what we know we need to do. The best next step does not always make us feel relieved. Actions based on principles or values are not necessarily emotionally satisfying. I would bet you can recall times when you have taken steps that created some distress but that you knew were important to do.

-It also sounds like you are done thinking. You said you know you need help. So imagine yourself walking into U216 at 8:30 am the day after you read this, see yourself saying “Could I please have a drop-in appointment today. I really need to see a counselor. It is urgent.” and book a drop-in time. Don’t think beyond that. Start walking and don’t stop until you are at the desk, saying what you need to say. When it is urgent, a counsellor will check in with you even if they are fully booked, and then assess when a next appointment is needed. You can also attend a Stress and Coping session on both Monday and Friday at 3 pm. 

-If beginning to talk about your concerns in a more anonymous way would be helpful to get the ball rolling, call the Distress Line (403.266.4357). It does not need to be an emergency to use this service and this might help you begin to articulate what you are going through and strengthen your resolve to seek help. The Distress Line is also for situations where feeling rock bottom has led you to having suicidal thoughts. They will connect you with help 24/7.

-Focus on the doable next first step, not the thing as a whole. Just do the next smaller, immediate doable thing, and then the next small doable thing, and so on. Sometimes we get immobilized by what we imagine will happen in the future, far beyond the moment when we can actually choose and act.

I hope that somewhere in all those ideas, there is something that helps.

All the best,

Mirjam

Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.

Wellness Services: Student Counselling