ADHD is listed and described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM5) (click here if this title rubs you wrong). For some, this makes it real enough. It describes some observable patterns of brain functioning and behaviour, recognized as potentially interfering in a person’s day-to-day functioning. However, there are those who doubt AD/HD is a thing and others who completely reject it. Holding our knowledge lightly and with humility is no doubt a good thing, since it allows for continued research and exploration with strategies. However, for those who have found the diagnosis meaningful and helpful, the doubters can be very hard to deal with. How do you respond to the doubters? When and how is it helpful to disclose the diagnosis?

There are many situations where it might be safer and more helpful to avoid the diagnostic language and frame your symptoms as traits that include strengths and weaknesses. That allows you to acknowledge challenges, not undersell yourself, and identifies conditions and tasks where you shine.

It seems safe to say that those who choose to disclose the diagnosis, or are outed in some way, at some point have to deal with people who claim ADHD is “not real.” So how to respond to that? In any conversation that includes opposing views, defensiveness typically invites others to position him or herself even more firmly in their perspective. Trying to negate an other’s arguments completely, typically only serves to alienate. So what is the alternative?

Rick Green offers a webinar on this topic that offers alternative responses. He suggests beginning with “That’s exactly…what I thought…what I heard…” as a way to begin where the person is at with their knowledge and attitudes. You can view his webinar at: Defending the Diagnosis.

Here are some suggestions, some of which incorporate those in the webinar noted above. However, I encourage you to practice and find your own voice and ways of talking about AD/HD when you feel the time and conditions are right.

“Yes, it is a made up word (just like all words). It very usefully captures patterns of behaviour that have been linked to particular brain-based functioning. I’m at the extreme continuum of attentiveness, impulsivity and distractibility. It basically means my brain moves very fast and doesn’t filter well. So it does very well at some things, but it also presents many challenges.”

“Yes, it’s hard to picture me as having ADHD because I have the type where I’m prone to become lost in my thoughts, rather than being fidgety or hyperactive.”

“Yes, I can see why you say that it doesn’t seem like I’d have ADHD. I’m not as hyper on the outside now that I’m an adult, but the hyperactivity is still there in my quality of thinking. My mind often races and it is hard to focus on one thing unless it is super engaging.”