Seeking counselling for non-MRU youth
My daughter is 16 years old and I am looking to get her counselling. Do you offer counselling for teenagers who aren’t part of Mount Royal?
Hello,
We only offer counselling to MRU students. However, I would be happy to share some off-campus resources that you may wish to check out. I’ll share two options and the third is a call centre where professionals will be able to share more information about other services that might meet you daughter’s needs.
Calgary Counselling Centre: Their counsellors guide individuals, couples, families and youth through their concerns.
The process begins with the NEXEN Call Centre: where you can call or go online to complete your counselling form. Upon completion of your counselling form you will receive a call to set up an appointment within three to five business days. Day, evening and weekend appointments are available.
Counselling fees are determined on a sliding fee scale, according to annual family income and ability to pay. There are no financial barriers to counselling services provided by the Centre. (403-691-5991 or http://www.calgarycounselling.com/ )
Eastside Family Centre: The Eastside Family Centre offers services for youth and families experiencing emotional upset that may arise from a variety of situations ranging from parent/adolescent conflict and mental health disturbance to domestic violence, financial stress and/or employment loss.
Service is available on a first-come, first-served basis with no appointment required. It offers no-cost, walk-in counselling, and focused counselling with a qualified professional that may include psychiatric and clinical consultation. It also provides no-cost, legal advice in collaboration with Calgary Legal Guidance and outreach and school services based in highly accessible centres throughout the community. (403-299-9696 or http://www.woodshomes.ca/site/PageNavigator/programs/crisis/programs_eastside.html )
Access Mental Health is connected to many local community resources, and they will be able to share more options. They can also streamline the process for accessing specialized mental health services. You can access this service by calling 403-943-1500 (Ext 1 – child and adolescent services; Ext 2 – adult and senior services) Monday to Friday 7:30am -7:30pm.
I hope that gives you a start. All the best to you and your daughter.
Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Counselling: Time between appointments
Question: It seems almost impossible to get an appointment with a consistent counsellor in a timely manner. Appointments every 1-1 1/2 months seems like an excessive time to wait. What is being done to lessen the wait time for students?
I’ve had to wait over a month to see my regular counsellor. I was doing well till I couldn’t see her on a regular basis anymore. My mental health has been declining very rapidly since I last saw her. Will MRU be hiring more counsellors? When will the problem of excessive appointment wait times be fixed?
Your questions about Student Counselling capacity to serve MRU students is an ongoing concern for us. We are always reviewing demands and our resource and try to discover the best way to manage these. For example, we have instituted walk-ins to allow for timely access, and this has helped students to get in close to the time they feel the need to connect with a counsellor. It has also resulted in fewer empty appointment spots. When students don’t show for their appointment, we are able to move those attending walk-in afternoons, into these openings. However, the problem you are identifying is the long wait between appointments for ongoing counselling.
First, I want to say that I am sorry to hear your mental health deteriorated between your sessions. Although it is possible for students to see their own counsellor when the counsellor is doing the walk-in blocks (this would be for briefer check-ins) not all counsellors do these walk-in sessions. So perhaps this was the case for your counsellor and it is not ideal, as you point out, to then see a different counsellor. I hope you will discuss this issue of timing of appointments with your counsellor so that you can look at additional options and problem solve around this issue.
For example, an excellent option between appointments are groups and workshops. We are increasing the number of ongoing support groups in order to meet the increasing demand. Some students initially resist this but I can tell you that many students get more benefit from being part of an ongoing counsellor-led support group in between sessions, than they would get from working more frequently with their counsellor one-on-one. We have a group for Indigenous women, one for students on the Autism Spectrum, and two groups going for students struggling with anxiety. Learning together about mental health issues, building skills and improving resilience, mutual support, and feeling less alone are some of the potential outcomes from joining such a group. More will be developed as students learn about the benefit of support groups and agree to attend, and next year there will be an exciting new resilience building program for struggling students that is being led by the Office of Student Success and that will include counsellors and learning strategists.
Another consideration is that we are a brief counselling service. Sometimes students indicate their doctor recommended weekly sessions, and we are unable to meet this demand. In this case it is important to discuss other options in the community. The student and counsellor can work this out. We will continue to support this student until they are connected with the right resource. Students may also be referred to the mental health nurses to help them access additional resources.
In terms of our resources, they have been challenged for various reasons. However, I’m happy to report we have been trying to hire all semester and recently found a successful candidate. So I’ll announce here that Jennifer Hoy is joining our team part-time. However, we also recently learned that one of our counsellors has decided to retire in December. We are happy for her and will celebrate such milestones. It also means we are again searching for Registered Psychologist or Registered Social Workers (spread the word!).
I thank you for your question. I hope that it clarified some challenges and that it encourages others to talk to their counsellor about what is and is not working for them in counselling. I would be happy to meet with anyone in person as well, to hear how our service could be improved, within the limits of our resources. The demand for counselling is unlikely to go down and our resources are unlikely to increase. We recognize that more frequent follow ups between appointments is important for many students. So we will continue to consult students, look at how other universities are handling the demand, and do the best we can with the resources we have both on and off-campus.
All the best,
Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Can perceptions of mental health be shared in a reference letter?
Questions: Is it appropriate and/or allowed for a professor to discuss their perceptions of my mental health on a reference for grad school?
Hello,
Thanks for your question. I suspect the question and response will be of value to others. My first response was to want to speak to confidentiality in counselling (we never share information about students without a student’s signed consent), but realized you were talking about perceptions a professor has about your mental health.
There are several problems with your professor commenting on your mental health in a reference letter. First, since your professor is not qualified to assess your mental health status they cannot speak to this. Even if they are also registered mental health professionals, they are not in this role when they are preparing a reference letter. Second, if there was a diagnosis of a mental illness that the professor knew about, this says nothing about your ability to do grad school. Many people diagnosed with a mental illness are able to thrive and have great success in University because they have found effective treatment and ways of coping. Third, when there is a psychiatric disability there is a duty to accommodate that person and to explore how they, with some possible adjustments, are able to meet the learning requirements. What that accommodation actually looks like can be different because of specific program requirements that will limit the kind of accommodations that are possible and appropriate.
What your professor is able speak to in preparing a reference, is knowledge of your performance. This would all be with reference to your actual behavior. This could include questions such as the following: Did you hand things in on time? Was the quality of the work up to the standards required by graduate studies? Can you work independently?
I am going to refer you to the Office of Campus Equity and Meaningful Inclusion with any further questions about this. Khaula Bhutta is a human rights advisor who works out of this MRU office. She will be able to say more about your options for handling a situation where your professor is including, in your reference, perceptions on your mental health. Her email is kbhutta@mtroyal.ca.
I wish you all the best in resolving your concern.
Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Grieving the loss of a relationship
Do you have any advice for grieving someone who is still alive, but who doesn’t want to have contact anymore?
Grief after a loss can come over us in waves that often crash over us at unexpected times. Although the experience of grief is often recognizable by those who have experienced a loss, the process of healing from the loss can look very different from person to person and between different situations.
First, I’m sorry for the loss of the relationship. You describe your experience as grief, so I suspect you can confirm what I have said above about grieving. The process of healing is often called mourning to distinguish it from the experience of sadness that can come out of the blue. Mourning is a more purposeful process of healing from a loss, and I think you are asking about what strategies you might be able to use for that healing process.
When people come to grief counselling, the process of finding what will be helpful for healing comes out of a collaborative exploration. Since this is more of a one-way conversation, I will share some ideas. However, I offer them with the thought that you are the one who will know which of these might be helpful. What is actually helpful will truly be known only once you have tried some of these strategies.
As always, MRU students are welcome to attend at counselling (U216) and book an appointment or use the Walk-In Blocks of time offered every afternoon.
- Healing, physical or emotional, takes energy. What are you doing to take care of yourself? What energizes you and how can you do more of that?
- Acknowledge what you are grieving. Sometimes it is not only the person, but the ‘hoped for future’ that adds to your grief. Journaling about this might be one way to acknowledge what you are grieving.
- Explore what healing might look like for you:
- What have you learned about yourself in this relationship that will never be lost to you? What has it taught you about what is important to you?
- What will be ongoing in your life: what activities that give you pleasure will you continue to engage in? What hopes for your life do you continue to hold? What do you value that is still the case and how can you live out those values even more strongly?
- How have you healed from other losses? What might you be able to repeat from that in this situation?
- What ceremonies might you create that mark both the ending and the new beginning. You might write a eulogy that honours what was good and what you appreciated about the relationship, one that also says goodbye (perhaps wishes the person well wherever they go), and that also honours the way your life will go on and that your happiness can not be taken away by one person no longer being in your life.
Engaging more purposefully in saying goodbye to the relationship and marking a new path for yourself, may help you to heal from the loss. Over time it may also make it easier to manage moments when the sadness hits you or if you bump into the person. At these times, try to acknowledge the grief for what it is: a sign that you can love and have lost something of value. Allow yourself some time to feel the feelings and then shift your focus to the kinds of things you do that matter to you: caring for yourself, being with those who are significant to you, pursuing your goals for your life and career, living out your values. Those who have gone through grief say that a balance between being with the grief for a time, and then going back into ‘doing’ mode, is often a helpful.
I hope some of these thoughts give you some ideas about what you can do. All the best,
Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Finding Valentines Day Events for Singles
Post: It’s almost Valentine’s Day, and I’m single and feeling extremely sad and very lonely. I’ve only been able to find one event to meet other singles on Valentine’s Day, which awkwardly happens to be in a lingerie shop.
What other events are happening in Calgary for singles to meet other singles? I don’t want to be alone anymore. It feels like a couple-dominated world, and all the couples events seem really cool and fun, but I don’t have a partner to go with. Sigh…