Experienced a sexual assault, want counselling, concerned about confidentiality
I was raped when I was 15 years old. I was black-out drunk, and don’t know who my attacker was. I still feel the consequences to this day. It still affects me in my daily life. I know Mount Royal offers sexual abuse counselling services, but I’m wearing of using them because I’ve heard that they are required by law to report any accounts of rape to the law. I know that 5 years later having to deal with the police would do a lot more harm than good, especially considering I don’t even know the man who did it.
Would it be possible to get the help I need without the police being involved?
Hello and thank- you for your message.
I am so sorry you were assaulted and that you have been carrying this trauma for five years. The counsellors at MRU Student Counselling Services offer confidential counselling services to students. As you note, you can also access a counsellor from Calgary Communities Against Sexual Abuse in our area. This person has specialized knowledge about counselling those who have experienced sexual assault and abuse. From your message I understand that you have concerns about the limits of confidentiality, so I hope the following information answers your question:
When a student meets with a counsellor for the first time, the first thing that is discussed is what confidentiality means and what the limits of confidentiality are. This is done before any confidential information is obtained from the student by the counsellor. Counsellor’s conduct in terms of confidentiality is not only governed by professional ethics but also by law.
Confidentiality means the information you share cannot be released without your consent, with the exception of three conditions. I’ll share about the exceptions and then explain the process of you giving consent. First, breaking confidentiality in the counselling relationship is generally about safety. If the student is at risk of significantly hurting him or herself or others, then the counsellor has a duty to release information for the purpose of keeping people safe from harm. This may take the form of working with the student to figure out who else needs to be brought in to keep them safe. Second, if a counsellors learns about abuse of a minor (someone 17 years old or younger who is currently at risk of, or is being, abused), it is the law that they have to report this. Sometimes people interpret this as having to report an adult’s past abuse when they were a minor. But this is not the case. Finally, there is the rare circumstance when a judge can subpoena’s a counsellor to give evidence in a court case.
Under normal circumstances any information obtained from students in a counselling session is released to another party only after the student has given informed consent. This means the student agrees to the information being released, knows where or to whom the information is being sent, what information is being disclosed, and for what purpose. The pros and cons of releasing the information are discussed and there is an expiry date for the consent.
From what you have said in your message there do not appear to be any grounds that would necessitate a counsellor reporting the assault to the police – there is no ongoing or imminent risk of harm to yourself or to others.
I encourage you to meet with a counsellor even if it is only to talk about your concerns about confidentiality. Your assault is something over which you had no control and it is important that you feel in charge, and are fully informed, about the process of counselling.
So kudos to you for taking the time to ask this question and perhaps helping someone else be less afraid to seek support.
All the best,
Ria Meronek
Counsellor
Wellness Services: Student Counselling
Don’t know how to get started addressing concentration, focus, and persistence
Hi,
I’ve had this issue for a while of not being able to concentrate. It didn’t really bother me in high school because I could get by with minimum amounts of studying. I noticed when I get frustrated I usually just abandon tasks and my mind often wonders during lectures. I’ve always been told if I just worked a little harder I could excel in my academics, but I can’t seem to get myself to stick to a task. I’m currently working on a long term goal that I am passionate about, and my grades are a really important aspect in achieving it. So I think it’s really about time I address this issue. But I don’t know how to get started.
Thank you for your time.
Hello,
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is not unusual for students to present with the difficulties you describe when they shift from high school to post-secondary. The amount of studying (and concentration required for that), the longer assignments (and longer term planning and persistence required to complete them), the attention required during lectures, the more difficult material, and the raised performance expectations, can shake us up. I certainly experienced this (many years ago!).
However, some of the difficulty you describe might not be about this transition alone. It can be that the difficulties you describe first present themselves as a problem in post-secondary because the high school conditions did not present a sufficient challenge to attention regulation. The minimum amounts of studying required to pass, the possible parental supports for healthy eating and sleep, and the exercise through team sports, can all mitigate attention regulation difficulties so that they are less impairing of performance. In order to assess if you meet diagnostic criteria for attention problems (Attention Deficit Disorder), an assessment by a psychologist, specialist doctor, or psychiatrist is required. To learn more about these kinds of assessments you can visit my ADD in Post-Secondary blog and check out the assessment page. I hope you will find this additional information useful for answering your question about how to get started..
In either case, you have stated you are ready to address this issue. So even if you don’t meet criteria for a diagnosis, there are many things you can do to address the difficulties you describe. It is wonderful to read that you have a long term goal that you are passionate about. This will serve you well since excitement about the material will often support attention. As I’m sure you are already aware, not every course you need to take will match your interest. It is often in courses that are of less interest to you, that students need to figure out how to sustain attention, get themselves going on assignments that don’t yet feel urgent, and persist when it takes a long time to learn the material. I also get the sense that you have not fallen into the trap of thinking you are experiencing problems of intelligence or laziness. Indeed, you seem to already frame your difficulties as a problem of performance.
There are many resources at MRU that support student success. With what you describe, Student Counselling Services will give you a chance to explore your challenges in more detail with a counsellor and discuss the best place to start.
All the best,
Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Counsellor
Student Counselling Services
22 and struggling with a relationship
I am a 22 year old male who I struggling with his relationship. I have done things throughout the past and recently which has hurt the person I love the most and I have kept lies and secrets from her. She mean everything to me and I’m terrified that I’m going to lose her and I want to show her that I can change. I also have anger issues and it has caused me to give up drinking due to I could lose control. Please someone help me I can’t lose this girl and I need help on how to improve and become better with my relationship and be the partner she deserves.
Hello,
I’m so glad you wrote in. Your note contains important pieces to changing the difficulties with which you have been struggling. So I hope some of my reflections and information are helpful to you (and of course others who might recognize themselves in your description).
I’m going to extend what you are saying into some psychology speak and say that you want to be able to create a healthy, loving relationship with the person who means the most to you. You have already acknowledged that drinking leads to feeling angry and I gather the anger leads to you saying and/or doing things that harm others in some way. So change for you means no more lies, no more hiding the truth, no more drinking, and no more reacting out of anger. You also make the point that you not only want to stop some behaviours, but that you want to start others. That is, improve your ability to be in a healthy and caring relationship.
So these are excellent beginnings to meaningful change: owning the problem, taking responsibility for your actions, acknowledging the impact of your hurtful words and actions, making a commitment to learning new ways of doing things, and being willing to show that things are different. I suspect that if you do begin this process of change, you will not only learn about what makes a healthy relationship with others but also what it is to have a healthy relationship with yourself. It’s a win-win situation.
Information and support will likely be an important part of changing. If you want to begin with some online research, here is a page that identifies the signs of a healthy relationship and ways to make positive changes in your relationship.
You can also begin with a one-on-one meeting with a counsellor to explore all of your options for making the changes you want to make. Once you set some goals for what you want to stop doing and what you want to be able to start doing instead, you can figure out together if reading material, workshops, individual counselling, and/or group support would be most helpful. You can drop by U216 or call 403 440-6362. We have drop-ins daily or you can make an appointment.
One point I want to add is that even if you make all of these changes your past relationship will likely require a healing process. Your past girlfriend has a right, of course, to decide if this is right for her. Sometimes, healing is not always possible for a couple. Sometimes, healing can happen as a couple but the couple still decides to split. Sometimes, healing has to be done by each person on their own. At minimum, I hope the work you do will help you to feel good about yourself and your ability to relate to the people you love now and in the future.
All the best,
Mirjam
Mirjam Knapik, Ph.D., R. Psych.
MRU Student Counselling Services
Difficulty with anxiety over waiting for exam marks
Hi there,
I am having difficulty with the anxiety of waiting for an exam mark. It’s gotten so bad that I will spend hours on the Blackboard site and I refresh the site constantly on the day that I think my instructor is going to be posting the grades. I am afraid of letting myself down, and strangely I am also scared of letting my instructor down. For the most part I feel that my instructors hold high expectations for me, and that’s great and all, but I am also worried about not only disappointing myself, but my instructor(s) too.
Usually I do well on exams, but I always feel unsure in the waiting period. I’ve been rejected from grad school once and I’ve returned to undergrad to get more experience and schooling in the field I want to study, and to make myself a more competitive applicant. I know my desired path is my dream and passion, and I am willing to work hard and do whatever it takes to make my dreams a reality. However, in doing so I know grad schools are going to look at my most recent marks and scoring top marks are insanely important for this reason. I don’t think I can handle getting rejected from grad school again when my time is done at MRU, and I think this is where some of the extra pressure on myself comes from I think.
Anyways, what would you suggest to reduce the anxiety experienced while waiting for a grade? I know realistically the test is over, and what’s done in done, but I always second guess my answers after, question whether I did things right or wrong, and dwell on the exam. In reality I know this isn’t healthy, but I am not sure what to do to overcome this feeling and obsessive checking of blackboard. Do you have any wise words of wisdom or advice for me?
Thank you for your question. You have raised an important issue and many students have similar struggles.
It is not unusual for anxiety to pop up in response to things that are very important to us, in particular in situations where there are high expectations for our performance. As you identified, the pressure can come from both outside sources (professors, grad school entrance requirements) and internal sources (pursuing something important, having high expectations, or even perfectionism). The fact that you are pursuing your dream means anxiety is likely to pop up at times to let you know that this is really important to you and to encourage you to stay focused, prepare for exams, and review past behavior to learn from any mistakes. A certain amount of nervous energy can actually help us perform at our best. Click this link to watch a video about the benefits of stress, how to make stress our friend and how to cope with stress: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend
However, there are times when anxiety can take over and “run the show”. At these times, anxiety can be like a toddler that demands and tantrums for candy bars every time we take the child into the store. Only anxiety doesn’t (typically) want candy bars. Rather, anxiety demands that we give it lots of attention (worrying, catastrophizing) or demands that we engage in behaviours (like checking, reviewing, dwelling). These types of behaviours may be effective in appeasing anxiety. This can be adaptive, when thinking about the future and potential problems or danger can help us to figure out plans to either avoid danger or identify back up plans to deal with difficult situations. Reviewing past behaviours and identifying mistakes can help us to learn and make improvements. The problem is that anxiety can run amok and demand constant worrying, checking, and reviewing. In these situations, if we give into anxiety’s demands each time anxiety demands we act in a certain way, we have inadvertently reinforced anxiety. Just like when we give the toddler a candy bar to stop the tantrum – the toddler calms down in the short term. But the next time we bring the toddler to the store, we can expect another tantrum as the toddler hopes to get more candy. Anxiety may initially feel a bit better when we give it attention or engage in checking, but in the long term anxiety demands more of the same behaviours in order to feel better. Plus, anxiety thinks it is doing something helpful for us – when things are uncertain and we have no control, behaviours like worrying, reviewing, checking or dwelling can feel like we are doing something productive. However, as you pointed out, this reaches a point where obsessively worrying or checking can create more anxiety or tension and it no longer feels productive.
It can be helpful, then, to “set some limits” with anxiety so that it is no longer running the show. One way to do this is to set up a “Worry Time” once a day to tackle and challenge some of the worries. This way when anxiety demands attention during the day, you can set a limit with anxiety and know that you’ll return to it later when you have more time to give it your full and productive attention. It can be helpful to do this through compassionate self-talk (sort of how you may talk to an upset toddler) “Anxiety, I know you are really worried about my grades and are trying to help me by bringing up concerns, past mistakes, or checking to see if the grades are ready; however, now is the time for ____ (class, rest, studying, etc). We’ll talk this through later during Worry Time.” It’s amazing how much easier it is for anxiety to let go of dwelling and worrying when we 1) acknowledge that is what’s happening and, 2) offer to come back to the worries later.
When it’s time for Worry Time, it’s important to set a timer so that anxiety does not demand the rest of the day/evening on worries. Spending 15 to 30 minutes of “productive” worry is usually enough time to feel significantly better. The first step is to identify one worry at a time. Typically anxiety brings up 2 kinds of worries: the “what ifs” and the “what should I do about…”. For instance, if anxiety is bringing up the worry: “what if I failed the exam” then we can ask ourselves the following questions:
What is the probability that the thing I am worrying about is really going to happen?
- What is the specific outcome that I am worried about?
- What do I already know that can help me determine how likely this fear is to come true (e.g. things I have heard from others, read, or already experienced myself). Include all the data you can with both positive and negative.
- Considering the data, what is my best estimate that this outcome is actually going to happen? (rate from 0% to 100%)
In this first step, we are challenging the probability that something bad is going to happen. Anxiety has a way of feeling “certain” that bad things are 100% likely to happen, especially in those moments when anxiety is running the show and releasing lots of adrenaline into our body. When we talk back to anxiety and offer a broader perspective, this can bring you a bit more reassurance or calm.
The second step is turn unproductive worry into a more productive “back-up planning”. We can ask ourselves the following question:
- Even if it does happen, would it be so catastrophic? What would I do to cope?
As an example, let’s take a look at the worry “what if I failed the exam?”
What is the probability that the thing I am worrying about is really going to happen?
1.What is the specific outcome that I am worried about?
I am worried that I failed the exam
2. What do I already know that can help me determine how likely this fear is to come true (e.g. things I have heard from others, read, or already experienced myself). Include all the data you can with both positive and negative.
Negative data: I struggled with some of the questions, some people in the class put down a different answer than I did on one of the questions
Positive data: I studied hard for the exam and went in as prepared as possible, I finished all the questions, I reviewed the challenging questions at the end, some of the questions seemed easy
3. Considering the data, what is my best estimate that this outcome is actually going to happen? (rate from 0% to 100%)
My best estimate is 10% probability that I actually failed. I probably didn’t fail, but I don’t know if I got the A I was hoping for.
4. Even if it does happen, would it be so catastrophic? What would I do to cope?
It is not likely I failed the exam, but if I did, I would speak to the professor and find out where I went wrong. I could ask for additional help from the professor or get a tutor, if needed, so that I can bring up my mark on the next exam. Worst case scenario, I could retake the course to get a higher mark and this mark will replace the low mark in the calculation of my GPA.
After talking back to anxiety from this broader perspective, it can calm anxiety down. The more we practice this, the better it works. And in the long-term, this helps breaks the cycle of inadvertently feeding anxiety through too much attention (unproductive worry) or through behaviours (checking, reviewing). You can apply this process to your worry about disappointing your instructor as well. In this way, we can work with anxiety, rather than letting anxiety run the show.
For more information about anxiety and ways to “talk back” to anxiety and limit anxiety-driven behaviours, visit this site: https://www.anxietybc.com/
Outside of Worry Time, it can be helpful to use strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, or grounding exercises to help direct attention away from anxiety and focus on the present moment (while reminding anxiety that you’ll return to some of the worries later during Worry Time). Please visit the counseling webpage for guided meditations. Finally, anxiety can become difficult to tackle on your own. Please, do seek additional support if these strategies are not working for you.
Stephanie Sikorski, Registered Psychologist
MRU Student Counselling Services
Coming back to MRU and wanting support
Hello,
I wanted to speak to someone about pursuing help with my mental health and testing. I saw you guys 2 years ago to speak about it since it was messing up my schooling. I just got back in this fall and I’m starting to feel similar to the way I felt then. I finally have a support system at home to encourage me to commit to my appointments and seek help and whatever treatments I may need. I’m just not sure of my options or procedures from here. If I could book an appointment or something. That would be great. Thank you for your time.
Welcome back to MRU and Student Counselling Services! I’m glad to hear you are back and that you have support at home. We would be happy to become part of your support team. You can just call us to book an appointment (403 440-6362), but we also have drop-ins every day. Just show up in the morning (we open at 8:30) and you can claim one of the drop-in times that day. Once a counsellor gets an idea of your struggles, strengths, and goals, you can decide together on what is the best way to move forward.
One exciting thing (exciting for us because it is new) is that we are creating Success Teams. We match up students on the basis of their schedule and then arrange small group meetings with a counsellor. The whole group supports members to reach what ever goal they identify is important to them. Just let the front desk know if you are interested and we will put your name on the list. When we have enough students, we’ll try to arrange a time.
All the best!
Mirjam Knapik
Counsellor, Student Counselling Services
My Dad died and I’ve lost all motivation
Question: Ever since my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness just over a year ago, I’ve lost all motivation to attend classes, do well in classes, and I have no idea what I want career-wise anymore nor do I ever find myself feeling happy. He passed away 11 months after being diagnosed and I watched his mental and physical health decline as well as all his suffering throughout. How can I get past this, and bring myself back to how I was before this all started?
I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I don’t want to make too many assumptions about what has been happening for you, but what you describe is the kind of experience that can shatter our sense of the world. Watching someone you love suffer through a terminal illness is a heart wrenching, yet we often call on a depth of strength in ourselves and try to not add our own fears and sadness to the worry and grief we see in others. All of this shakes our assumptions about life in a very deep way, and we require time to make ourselves, and the world, comprehensible again.
If I understand your timeline correctly, you have not had much time for making the world understandable again. I imagine grief still hits you like the tsunami some people describe it as, and this is exhausting. A loss of motivation, feeling uncertain about your future, and wishing for your old self back is a pretty understandable outcome from all of that. One of the ideas that I find helpful for the process of bringing yourself back, is mourning. Mourning describes what we do to actively engage in healing from a loss. You might not be able to bring yourself back to how you were before this all started, but with time you can reconnect with your self and others in a meaningful way, and you can re-imagine your future.
I’m not sure what you identify as your culture and if that culture has resources for how to mourn (practices, ceremonies, steps), but for many of us in Canada learning about mourning begins when we are faced with a death of someone close to us. Despite this, there seem to be quite a few people with opinions about the stages of grief, how long healing should take, and how to go about it (I suspect you have bumped into those opinions). In the end research tells us it is a very personal and unique process. And all those steps? It seems we skip around and over and feel all kinds of complicated things in our own order. Sometimes we just want to skip over the grief (maybe numb ourselves with substances or use distractions so we can feel like we are back into life), and sometimes we can get stuck in the grief (don’t take those small steps back into routines, withdraw). It seems neither really serves us. What does seem to help is when people give themselves time to acknowledge their grief and mourn the loss, but then also allow themselves to get back into life in small steps. Moving back and forth between mourning and rebuilding seems most helpful.
So it is not just about time to heal, although giving yourself time is certainly important, it can also be about taking small steps that help you to acknowledge the loss, perhaps find ways to feel connected to your father, and explore what matters to you in this changed world. This can’t just happen in one go, and it will require you to take good care of yourself. The classics will do, though it may be hard at first: good nutrition, sleep, exercise, social time, and doing things you used to enjoy, are a good start. Perhaps there are times you will feel more like your past self. Likely waves of grief will still bowl you over unexpectedly. However, you may also discover new things about which you feel passionate.
Please know that if you are ready to talk more about this, a counsellor is available to listen and explore what recovering from this loss will look like for you.
All the best,
Mirjam
…no motivation for school, don’t even know what I want to do anymore
Question: I’m so tired of wasting time,and money and having no motivation to do well in school, I dont even know what i want to do anymore, I wish i was capable of doing something, I’m not good at anything nor have I found something of my interest. All I know is i have to a degree but not which one. I want to find motivation and become something and have goals. I need someone to push my limits. I always regret it after and feel useless and left behind but in the moment I never do my work and get lazy.
Thank you for submitting this question. Our counselling team would be able confirm that you are not the only student experiencing uncertainties and frustration. Just yesterday some of our counsellors met to discuss a program that I think is designed to address the kind of experience you describe. So there is some nice synergy between your post and our very recent conversation.
Let me begin with responding to some of the things I hear in your post. You describe how your uncertainty about your abilities and your interests lead to you feel, day-to-day, little sense of purpose and motivation. It makes sense to me that it is pretty difficult to get yourself going day-to-day for a degree that doesn’t feel meaningful to you yet. The motivation you mention involves our biology, emotions, cognitive states, and our social world. Ideally we reach a state where we feel energized to behave in ways consistent with our values, ideas, and goals.
Your post seems to suggest some motivation is already in place and that there are also some important ingredients missing. When you say you want to be capable of doing something, when you feel regret over not doing the work, and then you action that with your post here, I hear some emotional and mental resolve to make a change. There is a social element when you say you need someone to push you and I think I hear this as well when you say want to become something and have goals. The sticking point seems to be having some sense of what that actually looks like.
So the good news is that you can engage in practices that ready your mind and body for action toward your goals and, importantly, there are ways to gain more clarity about those goals. Here are two suggestions to begin the process.
First, I would recommend you attend the Career Passion Workshop to get a better understanding of how to develop a vision for your future that will guide educational and career choices. There will be many ideas from this three hour workshop to help you begin to understand yourself better and learn about the additional steps you might take to understand the interests, values, and inclinations you want to consider when doing career and life planning. Just go to our webpage and our new workshop schedule for the Winter semester will be up soon. There may be other workshops there that appeal to you.
Second, I would encourage you to take part in our new initiative: Student Success Teams. You mention wanting to be accountable to someone so that you feel that push to take action, that you need achievable goals, and it sounds like you are ready to develop strategies for improving motivation. Student Success Teams will offer all of these elements. We are inviting student to sign up for a success team by calling our front desk (403-440-6362). A team will be created when we have six students whose schedules align so they can hold weekly group meeting with a counsellor. These weekly meetings will focus on helping group members to identify goals, learn whatever they need in order to accomplish them, and to support and encourage each other. I hope you’ll call and join one of these teams.
Hope that helps get you started. If you find you can’t act on these suggestions, do feel free to make an appointment with one of our counsellors who can explore the barriers with you.
All the best for now,
Mirjam
Friends are graduating…how to make friends
Question: Many of my friends are graduating next term. I’m shy and find it very difficult to initiate conversations with new people. Any suggestions on how I can make friends?
Hello,
It can be tough to make new friends when you are shy, and especially challenging to get to know people in the random kind of social situations that occur on campus. For this reason, I recommend getting involved with people who are already organized in some way around interests that you might also share. MRU campus is a great place for this because there are many groups organized around such things as shared academic interests (like a psychology student group), shared activities (like the ski or chess club), and shared topics that people feel strongly about (like the Student Distress Centre Club, whose members are focused on promoting mental health and reducing the stigma of mental illness). There are also many volunteer opportunities on campus, such as the Mount Royal Students’ Association Peer Support Centre, which often trains a new group of volunteers in January (and which may have openings still for 2017). They are on the second floor in the Wyckham Centre.
I’m thinking that, as a shy person, it might be difficult to think about taking the steps to connect with these groups. One way to ease into this is to begin with an email or to sign up and get on an email list. The Student Distress Centre Club, for example, sends out regular newsletters and you might connect with even one person initially before jumping to meetings. They are looking for more “behind the scenes” volunteers right now, to help prepare the Stress Less Week mental health care packages. Then, if you feel comfortable with these students, you could join the group that walks around and hands out food and the mental health care packages to students across campus during exam week. If you want to have some fun feel-good experiences, this could be it. A smaller step for the Peer Support Centre might be just to walk by initially, then you could ask to meet with the coordinator if you feel more comfortable one-on-one, and then you might drop in some morning for one of their free breakfasts to perhaps meet one or two people.
Sometimes it seems like we need to be more confident before we can do these things. However, small doable steps allow for successes and these then lead to increased confidence.
Here are some more online resource you might want to check out for additional ideas about how to connect with other students:
http://www.mtroyal.ca/EmploymentCareers/CareerServices/Students/oncampusopps.htm#volunteer
http://www.mtroyal.ca/EmploymentCareers/CareerServices/FairsEvents/getconnected.htm
http://www.mtroyal.ca/CampusServices/WellnessServices/HealthyCampus/Volunteer/index.htm
http://www.samru.ca/studentopportunities/studentclubs/
Finally, if your shyness prevents you from taking these steps, you can make an appointment with a counsellor to discuss additional ways to celebrate your shyness while not letting it stop you from making new friends. If you want to wait until next semester, you can make an appointment in January by calling 403-440-6362 or attending at our desk at U216A starting January 3, 2017.
Help figuring out a major…
Question: i just wanted help to figure out what kind of major i want to go into but I’m not really sure what i have in mind.
Hello,
Choosing a major can be a daunting task. First you need to understand the criteria on which you might base a decision. Do you choose what you are good at? Do you decide on the careers that are possible from a particular major and look at future employment predictions in those careers? Maybe you need to focus on what you are passionate about, or maybe there is a lot of pressure from parents or family members to choose a particular direction and you are trying to decide how to factor this in. How do personality preferences, such as wanting everything well planned versus enjoying going with the flow, fit into the equation? What if you don’t have a lot of experience on which to base your answers to these questions? …And here comes another zinger…even if you know the answers to the above questions, how do you sort through an ever expanding list of career possibilities to make a decision about your education?
I’m glad to say that there is a great way to begin your decision-making process. When a student is not sure what they have in mind, attending a Career Passion Workshop is a great start. This is a three hour workshop, offered for free through Student Counselling Services, that guides you through a series of questions that help you to begin to develop a sense of your criteria and what you want to keep in mind as you consider your options. Then it offers resources about the next steps in the process.
Once you have moved toward identifying a major, there are additional steps you can take that give you more confidence about your choice (or that help you to shift your focus if needed. Additional resources for this might be Career Services for information about gaining work experience, identifying paths to jobs, supporting you in developing a resume, and so on. Academic Advising can help to clarify what it would take to complete a particular program, and what courses you have already completed count towards the programs you are considering.
If all of this seems like a lot of work I remind students that years studying something you later find out you really don’t like, is time-consuming and expensive. That being said, taking diverse courses in your first year, might be an important step to learning about yourself. So I appreciate your question. Many students share your dilemma and it is very common for students to switch majors once they begin a course of study.
I wish you well as you continue your educational and career decision making process. You can register for the Career Passion workshop online through the Student Counselling Services webpage, or attend at our desk in Wellness Services, U216. We will have a new list of days and times for 2017, but you will see there is one more chance to do the workshop this year on December 16, 2016.
All the best,
Mirjam Knapik
I want to make an appointment soon…breaking point.
I really want to set up an appointment as soon as I can just to talk to someone. I think I am reaching my breaking point here at MRU.
Hello,
I’m very sorry to hear you are feeling like you are reaching your breaking point. I’ll take this opportunity to clarify the many ways you can get in to see a counsellor.
You can make an appointment by calling 403-440-6362 or attending at our desk at U216A. Depending on demand and cancellations, we may have appointments that day or farther into the future. However, we offer many other timely ways to access a counsellor. We have drop-in times daily on a first-come first-served basis, but will make time to see students who are experiencing a crisis. Since there are many issues that students share in common, (e.g., like stress, conflict, coping strategies, motivation, sleep, etc.) we also offer a group consultation hour with one of our counsellors every Monday at 3 pm. We will be opening more consultation hours if there is a demand. You can drop by for these without an appointment. We also offer workshops on topics that students most often identify are challenging: Anxiety and Worry, Career Decision Making, Procrastination, to name a few. We support students in distress but also focus on student development and building resilience. Our Happiness and Resilience workshop and the Strengths and Virtues workshops are examples of this.
Some students use our service early on in their time at MRU to help in the transition to university, a challenge many people (including parents) underestimate. With this approach, students improve their ability to manage the demands of school so they can enjoy and make the most of their time here.
So please do come and see us now, and we can explore with you how to make things more manageable and help you expand your ability to achieve the goals you have for yourself, your relationships, and your education and career.
Sincerely,
Mirjam