Question: Many of my friends are graduating next term. I’m shy and find it very difficult to initiate conversations with new people. Any suggestions on how I can make friends?

 Hello,

It can be tough to make new friends when you are shy, and especially challenging to get to know people in the random kind of social situations that occur on campus. For this reason, I recommend getting involved with people who are already organized in some way around interests that you might also share. MRU campus is a great place for this because there are many groups organized around such things as shared academic interests (like a psychology student group), shared activities (like the ski or chess club), and shared topics that people feel strongly about (like the Student Distress Centre Club, whose members are focused on promoting mental health and reducing the stigma of mental illness). There are also many volunteer opportunities on campus, such as the Mount Royal Students’ Association Peer Support Centre, which often trains a new group of volunteers in January (and which may have openings still for 2017). They are on the second floor in the Wyckham Centre.

I’m thinking that, as a shy person, it might be difficult to think about taking the steps to connect with these groups. One way to ease into this is to begin with an email or to sign up and get on an email list. The Student Distress Centre Club, for example, sends out regular newsletters and you might connect with even one person initially before jumping to meetings. They are looking for more “behind the scenes” volunteers right now, to help prepare the Stress Less Week mental health care packages. Then, if you feel comfortable with these students, you could join the group that walks around and hands out food and the mental health care packages to students across campus during exam week. If you want to have some fun feel-good experiences, this could be it. A smaller step for the Peer Support Centre might be just to walk by initially, then you could ask to meet with the coordinator if you feel more comfortable one-on-one, and then you might drop in some morning for one of their free breakfasts to perhaps meet one or two people.

Sometimes it seems like we need to be more confident before we can do these things. However, small doable steps allow for successes and these then lead to increased confidence.

Here are some more online resource you might want to check out for additional ideas about how to connect with other students:

http://www.mtroyal.ca/EmploymentCareers/CareerServices/Students/oncampusopps.htm#volunteer

http://www.mtroyal.ca/EmploymentCareers/CareerServices/FairsEvents/getconnected.htm

http://www.mtroyal.ca/CampusServices/WellnessServices/HealthyCampus/Volunteer/index.htm

http://www.samru.ca/studentopportunities/studentclubs/

Finally, if your shyness prevents you from taking these steps, you can make an appointment with a counsellor to discuss additional ways to celebrate your shyness while not letting it stop you from making new friends. If you want to wait until next semester, you can make an appointment in January by calling 403-440-6362 or attending at our desk at U216A starting January 3, 2017.